When my once eternal family became disassembled through divorce I knew
there would be many things I would mourn over. Broken covenants that
promised eternal unity, identification as a member of a combined family
unit, and many other joys that family life brings. What I was not prepared
to grieve over was a temporal blessing of family life, and that was the
blessing of home. I am not speaking of the accumulation of family
togetherness which produces homelike feelings, I mean I sorrowed over
losing the physical structure of a house.
I grieved for the place where you go to when everything else seems chaotic because its presence alone offers solace. The door you close behind you that seems to block out the distractions and heartaches you have encountered outside of it. The rooms and the smells that bring back cherished childhood memories that make you feel safe. The people that exist within the walls which listen, care, and love.
Throughout the past ten years it has come to be one of my greatest sorrows. During difficult moments, terrible days, or stressed out minutes, I have encountered feelings of hopelessness and despair, knowing that there was no home to run to. No place to offer the tangible peace I craved. No door to shut out what ailed me.
My suffering was great, until the day my eyes were opened.
After a particularly burdensome day, I sought refuge at the temple. As I carried my heavy heart to the doors of the house of the Lord, they opened swiftly to me, almost as if they were yearning to pull me inside. They closed behind me as suddenly as they had opened, as if to shut out the disturbances which were causing my distress. I felt safe.
As I approached the foyer, the well known scents and scenery brought me a sense of comfort, a feeling of familiarity was experienced and I recognized within those walls I fit. I felt the belonging which I desperately craved.
As I entered the chapel the beloved picture of Christ awaited me. I sat with Him there, reviewing the troubles that stirred my heart. I felt acknowledged. I felt accepted.
I grieved for the place where you go to when everything else seems chaotic because its presence alone offers solace. The door you close behind you that seems to block out the distractions and heartaches you have encountered outside of it. The rooms and the smells that bring back cherished childhood memories that make you feel safe. The people that exist within the walls which listen, care, and love.
Throughout the past ten years it has come to be one of my greatest sorrows. During difficult moments, terrible days, or stressed out minutes, I have encountered feelings of hopelessness and despair, knowing that there was no home to run to. No place to offer the tangible peace I craved. No door to shut out what ailed me.
My suffering was great, until the day my eyes were opened.
After a particularly burdensome day, I sought refuge at the temple. As I carried my heavy heart to the doors of the house of the Lord, they opened swiftly to me, almost as if they were yearning to pull me inside. They closed behind me as suddenly as they had opened, as if to shut out the disturbances which were causing my distress. I felt safe.
As I approached the foyer, the well known scents and scenery brought me a sense of comfort, a feeling of familiarity was experienced and I recognized within those walls I fit. I felt the belonging which I desperately craved.
As I entered the chapel the beloved picture of Christ awaited me. I sat with Him there, reviewing the troubles that stirred my heart. I felt acknowledged. I felt accepted.
As I spent time in the celestial room inspired thoughts met my mind and I was given encouragement to repent for my areas of weakness, received motivation to be better, and hope was delivered to soul promising that all would be well. I felt important.
As I quietly walked down the empty foyer to leave, it suddenly occurred to me.
I was home.
All I had been pining for was found within the walls of my Father’s house. It had always been there, offering me what I deeply desired, however, I had been too consumed in viewing things with my temporal eyes, and in living within the destruction of the trial, to recognize the beauty and the answers that were being extended.
This experience has taught me the sincerity of the blessings that are poured upon us as we make covenants with Him and become apart of the family of Christ. Our identity is never lost in Him. We are always an irreplaceable member of His family. We are safe with Him. We belong with Him. We are acknowledged by Him. We are accepted by Him. We are tremendously important to Him.
Additionally, it has helped me to recognize that the everlasting covenants we make within the walls of the temple produce not only eternal happiness, but provide joy and protection as we endure through mortality. Our eternal family units were created to provide the safety, love, and security which reminds us of our heavenly home, and stands as a refuge against the storms of the world. They are a sacred unification which will extend with us into the eternities if we remain worthy of them. This gift must be fought for and guarded, never trifled with or neglected.
But above all it has helped me to understand that my home is found within His house, for I am His child, and He is my Father. And that home will never fall away.
Moreover I will make a covenant of peace with them; it shall be an everlasting covenant with them: and I will place them, and multiply them, and will set my sanctuary in the midst of them for evermore. Ezekiel 37:26
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